We were never meant to compete or compare ourselves to others. When we do this, it always ends up as a disaster.
The Lens of Pessimism
For the first years of my life, I saw the world through a lens of pessimism. Having poor self-esteem, I made assumptions about life. I assumed I would never get married or have a good career. I always played the worst-case scenario in my head of how a situation would go, always ending with me not getting what I wanted. However, once I became a Christian, that all changed. I became someone who looked on the bright side of life once I encountered Jesus and put my hope in him rather than in my circumstances. Once I clung to the Scripture and learned of God’s promises for his children, it was easy to find hope. After that, I renewed my mind and started seeing the bright side of life instead of the gloomy side. I found good in each bad situation and clung to hope that God could turn around any bad situation for my good.
Life Is About Perspective
Everyone has different personalities. Some people see the glass as half full while others see the glass as half empty. Some people see life through the lens of God’s provision, while others see life through the lens of lack or focus on the things missing in their lives. Life is all about perspective. It's easy to look at all the ways in which we have failed or all the things we haven't been given in life, rather than focusing on the joy and gratitude, which is the Christian life. Life can be hard, and circumstances can get us down. However, it is our reaction to those experiences that will make or break how much people see Jesus in the world. If you find yourself looking at the bad or wrong things in life, it's possible you are a pessimist. Here are some signs you may be a pessimist:
You See the Glass Half-empty
If you tend to see life from what you're lacking rather than what you've received through Christ Jesus, you may be a pessimist. Sometimes we tend to use this as a defense mechanism. When life is rough, we tend not to have good expectations about future outcomes. For example, if we strive to get a new job or a promotion at work, we may protect ourselves by going out for the job but telling all our friends, “I'll never make it,” or “They'll never pick me.” While that might be the case, it is better for us spiritually, emotionally, or mentally to look at the situation in the hopes we receive the job rather than look at it from a negative viewpoint so we won't be disappointed.
We can’t protect ourselves from every disappointment in life. There will always be things that will get us down if we let them. It is better to see things on the bright side and be grateful that God might be sparing us from something if we don't receive what we've asked for. Sometimes, God is sparing us from future difficulties that we're not even aware of.
You Have Negative Self-talk
Self-talk is what you say to yourself when no one is watching. Analyze your self-talk. If you find yourself talking negatively, placing blame on yourself when enduring disappointment, your self-talk needs to change. Take a mental inventory of all the negative phrases from your childhood. Strive to change these negative sentences and turn them into positives. For example, if your marriage is not in a good spot and you and your spouse are talking about divorce, your self-talk shouldn’t be, “I'm a failure. No one loves me. I'm a horrible person.” Rather, treat this as a learning experience. Discover the ways that your actions are contributing to that conversation. Seek to change those negative behaviors with positive ones, seeking help from a professional if needed to help you process through the difficulties.
We live in a society where people place blame and very rarely take responsibility for their actions. Jesus taught us to take responsibility for our actions, confess our sins, and repent. There’s nothing in our lives we can't come back from with the help of the power of the Holy Spirit. If God can resurrect dry bones and make new life out of them, and if Jesus can die and be resurrected in three days, there's nothing that God can't do in our lives if he chooses to intervene. If, for example, you've gotten divorced, it may be easy to trick yourself into believing you'll never find another partner or love again. God can turn each situation for good if only we let him. One way to combat pessimism is to have hope. When we put our hope in Jesus, there's no room for pessimism; there’s only room for optimism as we live with the hope and joy that Christ’s death affords us.
You Don't Go for the Big Break
Part of the adventure of life is taking risks. Things will always seem impossible if we choose not to embark on that adventure. Even if we don't receive what we desire, or our lives have not provided us with the success we’re looking for, don't wallow in self-pity. Rather, live with hope and see things from others’ perspectives. God is a good God who wants nothing but the best for us. There are times when God whittles away at our character to transform us into Christ-like people. One way he does that is to let us have hope in our circumstances rather than look at the negative side of things.
You Engage in Unhealthy Competition
The easiest way to fall into pessimism is to compare yourself to others. Social media has built a community where we literally look at a small section of people’s lives that makes us feel inferior, causing us to compete with others to be successful in life. We were never meant to compete or compare ourselves to others. When we do this, it always ends up as a disaster. Consider Rachel and Leah. Leah was unloved in Jacob's eyes. God redeemed her by allowing her to have a child. Rachel was not content with merely having Jacob's affection; she wanted to have a child too. She competed with Leah over having children, and Leah only got blessed more. Cain and Abel and Jacob and Isaac also had the same competitive spirits. Competition is the antithesis of unity. We strive to compete with others rather than be grateful for the opportunities that God has laid before us. When we live in contentment, chances are, we will look upon life with optimism.
It's never easy to change our mindset. But if you find you look more on the negative than on the positive, you might be a pessimist. Pessimism does not have a place in the life of a Christian. There's always something that will try to rob us of our hope. Be content with what you have, look upon opportunities with hope, and take risks. The suggestions above will help shift your perspective from one of ungratefulness and discontent to one of hope and anticipation for all that God's going to do in and through you.
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