Whether you had a good relationship with the one who is now gone or a complicated relationship, grief can be used to cause us to reflect back on our lives and see how God used that person – for better or for worse. That person was in our lives for a purpose. They have impacted us in some way. What can we learn from our time spent with them? What do we want to do or not do after remembering? What area can we grow in? Is there a need for change?
“I speak of the “ascent.” I am convinced that every death, of whatever kind, through which we are called to go must lead to a resurrection. This is the core of the Christian faith. Death is the end of every life and leads to resurrection, the beginning of every new one. It is a proper progression, the way things were meant to be, the necessary means of ongoing life. But the death of the beloved means, in a different but perhaps equally fearsome way, a going through the valley of the shadow.” Elisabeth Elliot
My father passed away just a few months ago. From the time he was admitted to the hospital, it only took ten days for his body to stop functioning. Watching my dad die, and walking with my family through this loss, was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced. It’s still hard to believe he is gone.
One of the strangest things about grief is that while you are mentally trying to wrap your brain around the reality that your loved one is gone, you are faced with the finality of what their absence means every time you think about them. It’s almost too much to process. One second you feel normal, and the next second you are struck with the reality that nothing is the same and will never be the same again. You are forever changed.
I don’t think that grief ever really leaves you. It becomes a part of who you are, and you have to learn to live with this unwelcome guest. I have found that ever since my dad’s death, I don’t have the same capacity to do what I used to be able to do. I get tired more easily and lose my motivation faster. Several friends have told me that what I am experiencing is normal.
I’m not a huge fan of grief, but God has used it in my life and continues using it in ways I never imagined. So, although it has not been fun, I am thankful for the fruit that has resulted from going through this difficult experience.
Verses in the Bible 3-4 That Help With Grief
Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
This Psalm reminds us of where our true comfort and healing come from. Isn’t it encouraging to know that our heavenly Father is always there, ready to meet us in our grief, strengthen comfort, and heal our broken hearts? This is just a glimpse of what we will experience in heaven!
Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
God understands how it feels to have a broken heart and to be crushed in spirit. This verse describes grief perfectly. He watches over you and hears your cry. He has experienced what we experience in every way. There is comfort in knowing that He is near, understands, and saves.
Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
We can have joy when we read this verse because it gives us the promise that one day we will not feel the pain that we are feeling today. In eternity there will be no more grief! Knowing that there is an end in sight helps us to persevere in our faith. Focusing on the unseen things is what gives us biblical joy.
What Good Comes From Grief?
When we experience grief, it is another opportunity that we have been given to draw near to God.
James 4 tells us that if you draw near to God, He will draw near to you. We have a promise that He is there, and all we have to do is lift our eyes to Him and pour out our hearts to Him. We are given permission to tell him how we feel. We have been given an opportunity to get closer to God and get to know Him better.
When we experience grief, it serves as a reminder that we need to make each day count. We need to number our days.
Death serves as a reminder that life is short and we are not guaranteed tomorrow (Proverbs 27:1). When faced with this reality, it is an opportunity to commit ourselves to make the most of each day. We are challenged to be faithful to our callings, seeing every moment as a gift from God’s hand.
It is a reminder that we need to value and love those who are a part of our lives.
We have a calling to “love one another, (for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7 ). When we lose a loved one, it can heighten our awareness of the need we have to love those who are still with us – and love them well. It can be used as a reminder to evaluate our priorities and get them in order if we see we have been lacking, especially in loving others.
It causes us to reflect on our lives and be reminded of God’s provision and faithfulness and how he may have used the person who is now gone.
Whether you had a good relationship with the one who is now gone or a complicated relationship, grief can be used to cause us to reflect back on our lives and see how God used that person – for better or for worse. That person was in our lives for a purpose. They have impacted us in some way. What can we learn from our time spent with them? What do we want to do or not do after remembering? What area can we grow in? Is there a need for change?
Find Biblical Joy in Grief By Focusing on God
- Thank Him For Who He Is: Father, thank you for being Yahweh-Rapha – The Lord Who Heals. Thank you that you will heal my broken heart because that is who you are. But thank you for also promising to heal both body and soul. You haven’t missed anything. You are aware of what I am going through, and you are there to heal.
- Thank Him For His Faithfulness: Father, you have been faithful in every way up until this moment. Even the things I don’t understand have been used for good. Thank you for always being there for me.
- Thank Him for His Promises: Father, thank you for being true to your promise that you will “never leave me or forsake me.” (Hebrew 13:5) Thank you that I can trust you, that I can go to you whenever I need to, and that you will never let me go.
- Thank Him For His Provision: Father, thank you for your provision in my life. You have never forsaken me and have provided for all my needs, big and small. Thank you that you will provide what I need to make it through this time of grief.
More Articles From Gina Smith on Biblical Joy:
How to Find Biblical Joy When You Battle Depression
Finding Biblical Joy in Loneliness
Photo credit: © Pexels/Alex Green
Gina Smith is a writer and author. She has been married for 35 years to Brian, a college professor and athletic trainer. For 25+ years, she and her husband served on a Christian college campus as the on-campus parents, where Brian was a professor and dean of students. They reside right outside of Washington, DC, and are the parents of two grown children, one daughter-in-law, one son-in-law, and one granddaughter. She recently authored her first traditionally published book, Everyday Prayers for Joy, which is available everywhere books are sold. You can find Gina at the following: Website: ginalsmith.com, Instagram, and at Million Praying Moms, where she is a writer.
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