4 Marriages in the Bible that Show Us What NOT to Do

Why not start at the very beginning with our first parents? While they were made in God’s image, their actions had cataclysmic consequences. Their mistake launched sin in a perfect world. From then on, people will forever battle our natural inclination to sin.

It’s fun to think about what the world would have been like if Adam and Eve didn’t sin. Was God disappointed with them, or did He expect them to sin? As much as we can wonder and dream, we face the reality of what happened back in the garden years ago.

In Genesis 2-3, we learn all about the creation of Adam and Eve and the fall. We also have the first marriage created by none other than God himself. There was no helper fit for Adam, so God created woman. Genesis 2:24 states, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Then the crafty serpent enters the picture. “Now the serpent was more crafty than other beast of the field that the Lord had made.” (Genesis 3:1) He challenges Eve on God’s direction not to eat from the tree. He tempts Eve with the ability to be like God. We all know how this story ends. Eve takes some of the fruit and then gives some to her husband. This action shows disobedience and defiance against God. They are cast out of the garden forever.

What can we utilize from this story to help our marriages today? “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith.” (1 Corinthians 16:13)

Be on guard; you and your spouse will be tempted. Not if, but when. Temptation will follow us all the days of our lives.

Don’t ignore God’s commands. It didn’t end well for Adam and Eve, and it will go much better for us if we do our best to be obedient. Guard your heart and mind with truth from the Bible. Use prayer as a defense against Satan. While we can’t achieve perfect obedience on our own accord, we are blessed with the Holy Spirit, who will help us.

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These two are the epitome of what not to do in a marriage. King Ahab followed his father’s footsteps in doing “evil in the sight of the Lord.” (1 Kings 16:30)

Ahab marries Jezebel, the daughter of Ethbaal, king of the Sidonians.

Ahab and Jezebel worship Baal and build an altar for him. “Ahab did more to provoke the Lord, the God of Israel, to anger than all the kings of Israel who were before him.” (1 Kings 16:33)

Their worshiping of idols confused the people of Israel on who to worship, God or the idols.

Jezebel adds murder to her list of sins by persecuting followers of the Lord and murdering His prophets. Thankfully, Obadiah saved one hundred prophets.

Elijah confronts Ahab, challenging him to abandon the commandments of the Lord, and tells him to meet on Mount Carmel to see whose God is real. The Baal followers build a fire, cut up a bull, and wait for Baal to bring the flames. Of course, no fire comes.

Elijah mocks them, builds an altar with twelve stones, puts a bull on top, adds water, and calls upon the Lord. The Lord responds by sending fire and consuming the burnt offering, the wood, stones, dust, and water. Elijah has the prophets of Baal killed, which doesn’t bode well with Jezebel when she finds out. She threatens to kill Elijah.

Next, you have Naboth’s vineyard situation. Ahab covets (never a good habit) Naboth’s vineyard and tries to buy the land, but Naboth will not sell his father’s land. Ahab comes home sulking because he did not get his way. Jezebel doesn’t like seeing her husband pouting and forges letters on Ahab’s behalf, arranging for Naboth to be murdered.

Ahab and Jezebel break most of the ten commandments. They spend most of their life not worshiping the Lord. Ahab is spared when he humbles himself before the Lord, but disaster still comes upon his house.

In addition to their obvious larger sins, the learning for us today is to support our spouses and attempt to keep them from sinning. We want to encourage them in the Lord’s ways. Jezebel has sneaky, manipulative ways to her actions. We want to be honest and work together with our spouses, preventing each other from sinning.

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We know David was a man after God’s heart (1 Samuel 13:14). However, he made a mistake, a big mistake. He lusted after another man’s wife. This decision to take what he wanted spiraled into other poor decisions, lies, and murder. 

The Bible tells us not to covet. David obviously struggles with lust as he watches a beautiful woman (Bathsheba) bathing from his rooftop. David’s men are out battling the Ammonites. Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah, is in the battle and is part of David’s elite fighting forces. Should David have been fighting? Maybe. If he was battling, we know he would not have been perusing the rooftop being tempted.

David is aware that Bathsheba is one of his soldier’s wives. This does not stop him from summoning her. After their encounter Bathsheba becomes pregnant. With her husband away fighting, David knows he has a problem.

David’s solution to this situation is to bring Uriah home and allow him to lie with his wife so that when she gives birth, he will think it is his child. However, Uriah is a man dedicated to his army. He doesn’t go home but rather sleeps outside the door of the king’s house. (2 Samuel 11:9-13)

Does David come clean with the truth? No. He devises another scheme that will cover up his sin. He sends Uriah to the front line, where the most brutal fighting occurs to ensure his demise. When Bathsheba completes mourning for her husband, David brings her to his house to be his wife. She bore him a son.

Of course, God sees all and is displeased with all David had done. With this one act, David had broken at least four of the Ten Commandments: murder, adultery, lying, and coveting. Nathan, the prophet, lets David know his action will not go without consequence. His house will be plagued with violence, and the child Bathsheba delivers dies.

While this marriage didn’t start under the best conditions, they do go on to have Solomon. David also writes Psalm 51, a picture of David’s repentance. Repentance is a key learning here. That and the apparent sin of taking someone else’s spouse.

Ananias and Sapphira sell a field that belongs to them and give the proceeds to the church. (Acts 5:1-11) This sounds like a noble action indeed, selling land and donating the money to the church. It would have been if they had not lied about the amount. Together, they decided to hold back some of the proceeds, which technically was acceptable for them to do. It was their land, after all.

Where Ananias and Sapphira went wrong was in their lying. They presented the funds to the church as if it were the entire amount.

Peter confronts Ananias and asks, “how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land? Didn’t it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn’t the money at your disposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied just to human beings but to God.” (Acts 5:3-4)

What happens to Ananias and Sapphira is alarming. After hearing these words from Peter, Ananias falls down and dies. Three hours later, his wife comes in, not knowing of her husband’s death. Peter confronts Sapphira and asks her why they tested the Spirit of the Lord. She falls and breathes her last breath.

There are two major learnings in this story. First, don’t lie to the Spirit of God. I think we can all relate to this; I know I can. I think I can trick myself and God. I have tried to convince myself my motives were pure when they were not. Or that my intentions were good when they were selfish. God knows all. The sooner we confess our sinful heart, the better.

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8)

This is the second lesson. The devil is looking to destroy God’s people, to subject them to temptation, and drive them away from God. Here is advice from 1 Peter 5:9, “Resist him (meaning the devil), standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.”

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With all these lessons on what not to do, are we expected to have perfect marriages and sinless lives? Of course not! As we discussed, sin is a part of our world. Yet what we can learn from these marriages is repentance. Not all the couples exhibited this act, but David certainly learned from his mistake and still had to suffer the long-lasting consequences of his actions.

We will sin, but we have an opportunity to go to our loving Father and ask for forgiveness. Praise the Lord. Thankfully He didn’t leave us wallowing in our mistakes, carrying them around forever, beating ourselves up. We get to be washed cleaned, not because of anything we did, but because of what Jesus did for us.

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