Originally published Monday, 12 April 2021.
The phone rang. By the time the conversation was over, it felt like someone knocked the air out of my chest. Before I answered the phone I was happy, content. I noted that I had a zen-like peace. It was strange because there were anxious circumstances around me – family, job, relationships. I was beginning to revel in this feeling of peace which defied any human understanding.
After the phone call, the brick on my chest was painfully palpable. It hurt to breathe. But I had to keep going. I made some panicked phone calls then walked around the block with my husband. I started to beat myself up, wondering what role I played in this outcome. I came up empty. Then I started to ask why. The why seemed loud initially, but that zen-like peace wouldn’t disappear; it started to overwhelm me supernaturally.
I was hurt but at peace.
I was shocked but at peace.
I was puzzled but at peace.
Even later, when I started to worry about the more practical matters of life, I was at peace.
This peace isn’t delusional; it allows me to express all my feelings yet know that everything is working for my good. Where I want to ask why, my bigger thought becomes, “What am I protected from? What are you showing and teaching me?” These thoughts are a shift in perspective signaling personal growth. I'm grateful for growth.
Though I hurt, the peace that was always there started to do what it does – comfort, uplift, rewire, soothe. My husband prayed for me, and that simple act opened up the spigot for more peace. Pray provides peace.
There's a chapter in my book called Why Trials Won't Destroy You. The disciples are walking with Jesus on the way to the Kidron Valley - the place of his demise. As they walked, one of the first things they heard was how difficult it would be; living for Jesus would try each of them. There's a purpose in our trials. But we can have joy and peace He promised.
I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth, you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 NLT)
After the phone call was hard. Eventually, I knew that I would be ok because I have a peace that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:6,7).
Do you have peace in the midst of your difficult situations? It's available; grab it.
Dear Lord, I thank you that your peace is available to us regardless of what we're going through. I thank you for your reassuring words that you've given us a peace that surpasses all understanding. Thank you for the gift of your peace. May we realize what a blessing this is. In Jesus' name. Amen.
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