... if we become temperamental, self-important, and attempt to control our own lives instead of surrendering them to the King, then we cannot be busy about our Father’s business, storming the gates of hell with the authority that Jesus paid for us to have.
Some years ago, I was a 25-year-old corporate executive who was quickly finding success in the realm of corporate America. I was flying across the country, managing a number of employees, and exceeding company goals. I was earning a lucrative salary, and for a girl who had once lived in government housing as a broke single mom, it felt like I had arrived, in some ways.
The "Dry Cleaners Incident of 2022"
One afternoon, I pulled into the parking lot of a local dry cleaner with my absolute favorite business suit in tow. I needed it cleaned for an upcoming out-of-town conference. I gave the clerk the suit with instructions, which I’m sure she appreciated, and revisited the cleaners a few days later to get my suit. I brought it home and hung it in the closet. A few days later, I reached into my closet for the suit, as I was packing for the trip, and to my horror and dismay, the pants were not with the jacket.‘How dare they!’ I immediately thought! The cleaners had lost my favorite pants! The inefficiency! I would have someone’s head over this.
I hurried over to the phone and called the cleaners, demanding to speak to the manager. What transpired over the next several days became affectionately known in my family as the ‘Dry Cleaners Incident of 2002.’ I conducted an all-out war against these cleaners. They had lost my pants and did not even care. They told me they didn’t have them and that was that. Everyone within a 50-mile radius was going to know how the dry cleaner business had wronged me and didn’t pay for my pants. I told friends. I told family. I told coworkers. I even wrote a letter to the Better Business Bureau. I called them incessantly asking about my pants.
Finally... finally ... after sufficient mourning and way too much grumbling and complaining, I decided to let the incident go. Several weeks had passed since the dry-cleaning incident, and I was sifting through my closet to donate some items. I pulled out my beloved, pants-less suit, and decided to donate the jacket since it no longer had its match. But wait a minute! What did I discover securely tucked on a hanger underneath my jacket?! You guessed it. My pants! The pants had been on the hanger the entire time. I had never actually lost my pants. I simply could not see what was right in front of me this entire time!
While a somewhat comical example, the story above highlights where I found myself some years ago. I had spent most of my life poor, abused, broken, and hurting. I had spent years crawling from the pits of despair, often making a few poor choices along the way. This corporate job I had landed was the very job that afforded me the opportunity to move from government housing, eliminate utilizing food stamps and welfare, and eventually buy my own home. I felt that I owed this job a great deal. What I didn’t realize was that I had lost myself in the process of climbing the corporate ranks, and more importantly, I lost focus on where my identity comes from.
I professed Christianity, even attended church weekly, and often talked about my faith. The problem? No one actually saw my faith at work. Sadly, what they often saw was a driven corporate executive who oozed with ego and pride and was often willing to go from zero to sixty over the slightest of affairs. In those days, I thought the ultimate goal was to earn as much money and influence as possible, and I didn’t even notice how contradictory those things were to Scripture.
Unfortunately, I see a trend taking place among women. We are now self-proclaimed Boss Babes and Divas. And while I’m never surprised by the ungodly trends of culture, I must admit that I have been surprised by the increasing trend and embracing of it for Christian women to identify as such. I see Diva conferences and Boss Babe workshops at churches. I see Bible study leaders calling one another divas. I see a trend of women thinking they must become “boss babes” to offer value.
A Diva
Do you know what a diva is defined as? Oxford Languages defines her as “a self-important person who is temperamental and difficult to please (typically used of a woman).” While definitions of boss babe or girl boss varied widely, many said some form of “a woman who is in charge of her own circumstances.” Can we just stop and think about this for a moment? Where in Scripture might you find an endorsement of such a woman? Would you find the Proverbs 31 woman to be self-important and temperamental? When is it okay to celebrate being temperamental? As Christian women, are we in charge of our own circumstances? I think the answer to all of the above is safely a “no."
Ephesians 6:12 tells us “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” And Colossians 1:16 tells us, “For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.” In other words, we are fighting a world that we do not see. The unseen realm (the spirit realm) is far more real than what we see with our natural eye. And many of us do not realize the spirits are being sent to chart us off course. The spiritual assignment of boss babes and divas is not of God. It’s an assignment from the enemy.
A Boss Babe
In my years in corporate America, I was chasing a boss babe-mentality long before the term had even been coined. I was too busy being offended and prideful and egotistical and self-important to understand how to fight the real war at hand. I thought the problem was everyone else. I couldn’t see that my life had become centered on me, chasing the American dream, and procuring wealth, status, and influence. But all of those things are completely contradictory to the words of Jesus. His words constantly implore us to die to ourselves, pick up our cross daily, and follow Him. His words challenge us to be humble, accepting offenses (70 x 7). We are taught to give all we have to the poor. Jesus taught humility and servanthood and kindness and generosity and patience and self-control. He taught us to be all about the Kingdom, recognizing this world was only temporary. None of those things seem parallel to the boss babe and diva personas that the world encourages us to assume.
No, we are being slowly persuaded, strategically, by the enemy we cannot see to become all the aforementioned. Because if we become temperamental, self-important, and attempt to control our own lives instead of surrendering them to the King, then we cannot be busy about our Father’s business, storming the gates of hell with the authority that Jesus paid for us to have. We’re too busy chasing temporary things, loading our resumes with achievements and accolades, gaining the whole world, and quite possibly losing our souls.
Many of us are in the fight of our lives with our children, spiritual walk, mental health, finances, and more. We are tired and stressed and overwhelmed. And yet, we don’t know how to fight effectively in the spirit, because we’re too busy fighting things that don’t matter, becoming offended and wasting time, energy, and effort fighting temporary things. We cannot win the war we’re in when we do not know who we fight. Do not be deceived or distracted by this trend.
Women of God, you are bought by the Blood of the Lamb. He paid for your joy, peace, self-control, full surrender, redemption, restoration, freedom, and anointing. Recognize the war you are in for your children, your homes, and much more. Do not bow to the lies of culture and the enemy that are attempting to distract you, convincing you that your worth is in anything but Christ alone. Make no mistake. These are spirits – and not the holy kind!
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Vagengeym_Elena
Jennifer Maggio is a mom to three, wife to Jeff, and founder of the national nonprofit, The Life of a Single Mom Ministries. She is author to four books, including The Church and the Single Mom. She was named one of the Top 10 Most Influential People in America by Dr. John Maxwell in 2017 and 2015 and has appeared in hundreds of media venues, including The New York Times, Family Talk Radio with Dr. James Dobson, Joni and Friends, and many others.
