Originally published Monday, 08 August 2016.
What's your big dream? Do you dream of something global like reconciliation or something more personal like encouraging others or writing a book?
In light of the recent tragedies that have happened in St. Paul, Baton Rouge, San Diego, Munich, Nice, and all over the world--global reconciliation has been on my mind. A lot in fact. But, the reason I haven't addressed the issue on my blog is because I didn't have the right words--until now!
Last week I sponsored a table at The Declare Conference. I asked them to write their BIG DREAM on the table. One of the ladies wrote "global reconciliation to the Father and to one another" (see pictures below).
I was so touched by her response because I, too, experienced the kind of reconciliation that only God could do while I was at the conference!
Before I share that story, I wanted to personally write out all the big dreams so you can be praying with me for God to fulfill them in His timing:
- To be a bright light shining for Him
- Gather a multicultural group of women from all over the world to encourage and equip Christians to change the world
- Living to see my oldest son come back to Christ
- To publish my book
- Write a book that gives hope
- To inspire and show love for all
- Global reconciliation to the Father and to one another
- To pay for my kids Christian school education
- Launch Brave Moms
- To speak to women on behalf of their Heavenly Father all over the world—preach, prophecy, pray!
- To have a baby (that was mine)
- To publish my first book by May, 2017
- Fulfill the calling of God on my life and be the person, wife, mom, friend, minister who brings Him glory in all things
- To love and be loved. Be obedient. Dream big!
- To be a professional dancer
- To see my child grow up and avoid making the same big mistakes I did—for her to stay close to the Lord
- Help mamas. Write. Publish. Encourage. Bless.
- Start a blog and write a book
- To grow my blog!
- Launching kids who love Christ all their days
- To write a book
- Perform to expand His Kingdom
- Travel the US, take pictures in each state and turn into a book!
- To quit my full time job and run my boutique full time so I can stay home with my kids!
- To inspire parents to disciple their kids—especially girls!
- To see women whole, set fire, and alive in Jesus through the vehicle of His Word
- To help others become free to pursue their God-given dreams!
- Become fluent in Spanish. Write a book. Continue going to England.
- To transform lives through the stores in Building Eden.
- Write the books! Launch {Created}!
- To share Jesus with every women He allowed me to reach for HIs glory!
- To sell my tv series
- To be on broadway
- To have a successful marriage
- Write a memoir
- To write and speak
- Australia. Book to share. Hope to couples in crisis. More grand babies. Speaking engagements with my husband.
- To encourage women whatever way God asks!!!
- Grow my platform
- To become a life coach. To become a full time writer and speaker. To have the freedom to travel. To write a book. To write music. To open a girls traditional house for foster care.
- Create impactful and moving art again
- To let my scars tell my story and spread the beauty of the gospel through that testimony
- For my family to experience the love of Christ
- To have a baby
- To be all God has called me to be
I have been pretty outspoken about traditional publishing, and the bumps and bruises I have received along the way.
The book that meant the most to me, or I should say--took the most personally was Forgiving Others, Forgiving Me. It took me ten years to write. NavPress originally contracted me to write the book, and canceled my contract the day I handed in my manuscript. This was at the peak of the recession, and I was not the only one who lost their book contracts.
When Harvest House picked it up, I was elated. I had to rewrite it based on slightly different criteria, but I didn't care. I knew the book would be better because of it. When I handed in the book, I was a little scared because of what happened last time. They obviously didn't cancel my contract, but they did ask me to rewrite it again! Since I had grown close with my editor Kathleen Kerr, I wasn't upset. I was just glad that God was giving me one more chance to live my story! When the book released I was already up against some pretty big odds.
Unfortunately in traditional publishing, if your last book doesn't sell well--your current book may not be considered for as many copies in greater distribution. Because my first book with Harvest House, Not Another Dating Book, did not sell well--I was told this was a contributing factor to poor sales with my baby Forgiving Others, Forgiving Me. Shortly after its release, I was told that Harvest House didn't want to publish with me anymore. I. Was. Devastated.
Friends, that was three years ago when I received the news that my traditional publishing career was over (at least with my current publisher).
The phrase "it's not personal, it's business" was a difficult pill to swallow. It honestly took me the past three years to pray through what happened, and to understand God's greater plan. Fast forward to last week. I heard days before driving to Dallas that Kathleen would be at The Declare Conference. I was shaking in my boots. I knew I had forgiveness in my heart, but what I truly longed for was reconciliation.
It wasn't until I prayed with my friend and accountability partner that God gave me the right words to say. It wasn't that I was hurt by traditional publishing. God knew I would utilize self publishing as a catalyst to launch many other authors, which I have done. No! As I thought, the hurt went much deeper--but I couldn't put my finger on it.
Friendship.
I missed Kathleen's friendship. Because of her editorial expertise I became the writer I always knew I could be, but needed help becoming. Because of her working with me on those two books at Harvest House I gained the confidence to become not just an author, but a coach and consultant as well. That felt so good to say to her in person because our friendship truly changed me forever. I will be forever indebted to her! Who knows, maybe God will allow us to work with each other again--but I am confident that God is a God of forgiveness and reconciliation.
God can redeem the hurts this nation has as well as what is going on in the world, but it has to start with you and me. I believe the answer to global reconciliation starts with these three questions:
- Are you willing to forgive?
- Are you willing to reconcile?
- Are you willing to pray through your deepest hurts, and then move on?
Today, if you find that unforgiveness is standing in the way of your big dream--ask God how He would like you to proceed.
Don't be surprised when He immediately places those same people or places in your path to test if you have really moved on.
Cast your burden on the Lord,
and he will sustain you; he will never permit
the righteous to be moved (Psalm 55:22, ESV).
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken (Psalm 62:2, ESV).
The Hebrew word for moved in Psalm 55:2 and shaken in Psalm 62:2 is the same word: mowt. It means:
- to totter, shake, slip
- (Qal) to totter, shake, slip
- (Niphal) to be shaken, be moved, be overthrown
- (Hiphil) to dislodge, let fall, drop
- (Hithpael) to be greatly shaken
Don't let your big dreams shake you up, cause you to slip and fall or be moved from the place you are standing. I know the past seven months in Houston has tested every ounce I've had of staying still. I have been rocked to my core, shed giant crocodile tears, and wondered why the heck God would bring us here only to have nothing make sense! Only God knows how He will redeem this time, and I'm so glad that it hasn't stopped me from dreaming big.
Be encouraged today dreamers.
If you need more help, check out my 30 day course, Dream Calling, or register for the in-person retreats in San Diego and Dallas.
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